- What to Do:
- Modesty and Humility: Women, particularly noblewomen, were expected to exhibit modesty in both their actions and their dress. They were encouraged to be quiet, humble, and virtuous, reflecting the medieval ideal of femininity. Women of higher status were expected to behave gracefully and demurely in public, with their behavior governed by the expectation of their role as wives, mothers, and symbols of purity.
- Respecting Authority: Women were expected to show deference to the men in their lives—husbands, fathers, and brothers. At feasts and gatherings, women would often be seated after the men, and their conversations were generally expected to focus on more private matters.
- Modesty and Humility: Women, particularly noblewomen, were expected to exhibit modesty in both their actions and their dress. They were encouraged to be quiet, humble, and virtuous, reflecting the medieval ideal of femininity. Women of higher status were expected to behave gracefully and demurely in public, with their behavior governed by the expectation of their role as wives, mothers, and symbols of purity.
- What Not to Do:
- Immodesty: Any behavior that was considered too bold, such as speaking too loudly or making demands in public, was seen as a violation of feminine etiquette. Noblewomen who overstepped these bounds risked their reputation.
- Engaging in Public Disputes: Women who argued or raised their voices in public were seen as acting outside of their role in society, often drawing the ire of those around them.
- Immodesty: Any behavior that was considered too bold, such as speaking too loudly or making demands in public, was seen as a violation of feminine etiquette. Noblewomen who overstepped these bounds risked their reputation.
Public Behavior and Discretion
Public conduct was highly regulated, especially in towns and cities where the presence of a variety of social classes required careful attention to manners.
- What to Do:
- Polite Speech: Using courteous language, particularly titles and forms of address, was essential. A lord or lady would be addressed as "My Lord" or "My Lady," while the clergy would be addressed as "Father" or "Your Grace."
- Respecting Authority: Whether addressing a monarch or a lord, people were expected to bow, kneel, or remove their hats as signs of respect. Failure to do so could lead to punishment or social disgrace.
- Polite Speech: Using courteous language, particularly titles and forms of address, was essential. A lord or lady would be addressed as "My Lord" or "My Lady," while the clergy would be addressed as "Father" or "Your Grace."
- What Not to Do:
- Public Outbursts: Public displays of anger, aggression, or disrespect were seen as shameful. People who publicly insulted others, especially those of higher social rank, could face severe consequences.
- Improper Dress: Clothing was a reflection of one's social status, and any attempt to "upstage" the more powerful by wearing overly extravagant clothing was frowned upon.
- Public Outbursts: Public displays of anger, aggression, or disrespect were seen as shameful. People who publicly insulted others, especially those of higher social rank, could face severe consequences.
Conclusion
The Middle Ages were a time of great social stratification, and manners and etiquette reflected this. The rules governing behavior were largely shaped by the church, the feudal system, and gender expectations. What to do and what not to do in medieval society was often determined by one's social status, gender, and position within the community. While much of medieval etiquette might seem strict and formal by modern standards, it served as a means of maintaining order in a highly stratified society. The legacy of medieval manners continues to influence our ideas of etiquette and social behavior today, reminding us of the importance of respect, humility, and discretion in our interactions with others. shutdown123